Hey Guys! I saw this amazing story on the Daily Mail about Neil and Adam. They are identical twins but don’t look alike anymore. It immediately triggered some thoughts which I decided to share on my Facebook Profile.
Since people liked and shared it on Facebook, I decided to also post it here for my blog readers. You’d also love it, I hope!
There are identical twins experiencing the world in extremely different ways.
They will forever see the world through different eyes.
Adam and Neil Pearson are identical but the only identical thing about them is that they share a struggle with type 1 neurofibromatosis (NF1) , which affects just 1 in 3,000 people.
Something so rare becomes the common bond between these twins.
You see, beneath every skin is blood.
Behind every chest is a beating heart.
Humans bleed, humans cry, humans suffer.
The most profound similarity we have is our common struggle for life. Asides this, everyone of us is unique and different in so many ways. Even the tiniest differences alter our reality.
This is why it’s quite simplistic to think that everyone must see the world the way you see it. I first heard “accepting perspective” from Brene Brown.
You can watch her full explanation of Perspective Taking Here
And this concept simply says, we must be willing to accept other people’s struggles even though it’s not ours. The fact that I am not black does not mean blacks don’t suffer. The fact that I am not female doesn’t mean females don’t struggle.
We must be willing to accept other people’s struggles, comparison diminishes this. No two humans see the same world. That’s billions of worldviews to deal with.
It’s quite easy to think you are not privileged but we all experience privileges as exclusive rights that “others” don’t have. One person looks good, another person is intelligent, different privileges.
Adam suffered a lot of bullying because of his facial looks. Neil struggles with memory loss which would cause him a different kind of bullying and struggle.
Just imagine how it would feel if both of them were in an argument about who suffers most. I’m sure a lot of us would say it’s the disfigured twin.
But this is not supposed to be how we process our differences and struggles. It’s not a competition. Don’t diminish what other people struggle with because you think you have it worse. Simply accept that beneath everyone’s mask of calm and composure, there might be a raging storm of suffering that would literally blow your mind.
We might look like our lives are the same but our experiences are not. So whenever you feel a temptation to tell others to tone down their pain, think of these twins.
All you feel is in the picture, superficial, skin deep. You cannot feel what their memories feel, the experiences they have daily, the people they interact with.
No one knows what someone has said to them ten years ago, yesterday. You don’t know how people stare at them or take advantage of a memory loss.
The best you can do is to be part of a world that embraces differences and seeks to make life better for everyone. When people say they are struggling to be heard or that they need support, please don’t tell them why you think their life is better than yours. Just listen sometimes, you might actually learn something.