Okay so I told you how its been with Damola and her husband, “….the sex thanggg”. Okay I feel a lil bit bad for spilling this story about one of those I counsel but I truly think it would be useful and some times there is just too much heat I can’t hold it in.
eeehhh, okay the last we discussed I just listened as she cried through another load of bad stuff.
“can you Imagine my daughter, my own Tara calling me Fat? She even yelled at me to get up and wash my own dishes!”
so what? I thought, are you not supposed to wash your dishes? well I guess its the African way sha….
“I know I have been eating badly but its because they won’t make me happy, I am always angry because Tara thinks she is old enough to do what she wants, and my husband won’t even look at me! soon I won’t even want the sex after my menopause” check out the sex episode
I had to reply now or else something would just snap in my head, “Damola, I have heard you complain about everyone except yourself, you are just fat and growing, I have never come to understand why the African child is a slave…..” I retort, just before she interjects with one of her long bouts of wailing….
“I never did that to my own mother ooooo, I wash plates for my mother, father, my elder brothers, my aunties that lived with us and our elderly neighbours, It is only showing respect, I can’t have a bad daughter along with a heartless husband oooo, why me, why me…..”
I just sit across the rugged room with just a setting stool between us, my jaws propped on my palm I resigned to her rolling blubber for another five minutes or five hours and I just did not know how to explain that the only culture in Africa was slavery not respect.
What is respect without responsibility? How different is that from Slavery? Should we eliminate the respect because the responsibility is gone?
I think Africans just left the slave trade but the slave trade never left Africa.
I love stories from the Bible and there are a lot of situations where slavery was touched upon, even somewhere in the new testament the slaves are told to do everything to please their masters, I think it is expected of a slave to always please and the penalty for slave offense is Death. Compare that with sons and daughters, they are the ones who can freely offend and be forgiven, because they have free will and can choose their own will or their parents will, it should be expected that they will offend atimes and when they do, they can be forgiven. So which one is your child? A child or slave?
This funny theory came to my mind this week, I think when you expect a person (A human with a WILL) to do your own will always, you have put them in a position to offend you inevitably, then when they do, you still expect them to apologize? don’t expect me to wash your dishes! I may not! so don’t expect me to Apologize when I don’t.
what do you think friends? till next story with Damola……