Anybody who is in freelance work, especially artistically, knows that it comes with all the insecurity and the ups and downs. It’s a really frightening life. Alessandro Nivola
I have this discomfort in the pit of my belly, everything seems so rushed to me. I don’t know what’s going to happen but I know I am doing my best to stay afloat.
Every day I wake up, say a little prayer and rush over to my work desk. There is an email from Estate intel and I know my agreement with them requires me to deliver tasks weekly. Remember my coursera goals? now I got to write for a real estate consulting startup. I am also looking at the book launch targets; editing, compiling, getting the ISBN from the publisher etc.
I remember I have not written the articles for Mokidsnmore or Designed life. I know that each platform would continue to grow even if I break down. On a monthly basis, my productivity has to be top notch. I have practically abandoned Damilola Jonathan O. – The Blog.
I am checking for orders on my webshops, some complaint comes in through the mail “I haven’t gotten the book I ordered!!”
Still, my attention needs to be divided equally
Someone is trying to get another book but vogue pay is running haywire. Thank God I got it to work last month but even now, there are glitches on some days. I see another book order and the person chose to pay by bank transfer but my mobile phone is as silent as a graveyard. That means they did not realize they had to actually send the bank transfer for their order to be confirmed.
Flipping through my collection of social media designs, which one should I post? I remember at that point that my Master’s literature review is still sitting there untouched. My diary is open by my side and I feel like just shedding tears on it. Maybe it would interpret all I have to say. Then I think of calling her, but we are no longer together. She thinks I am not worth it anymore and distance already killed us.
Someone has messaged me without even adding me up, he wants to know how I connected my blogs and their Facebook pages. He does not want to pay, he thinks I should just sit with him and chat him through the process. He will remain unanswered.
What would really make me happy right now?
Honestly, I need a scholarship at this point, I know my research is worth more time and resources than I can get right now. I am not putting all the time and this is because I don’t have the money to relax and think my work through. Here is me running downhill, highspeed, losing my bearings but my heart is full of hope that one day, I will get out of this smelly pyjamas and go out into the fresh air.
I realize there is a beautiful world out there but I will have to miss out on all that while those who should understand are busy making assumptions about what I do with my time. I don’t even have the time, my life is not mine anymore. *Sighs* I wish this was peculiar to me but there are a thousand people within a 50-mile radius who have worse problems, why should God listen to my whining?
In all these, you still have to think about doing what is pleasing to God. If you are irreligious, you have to deal with people thinking you are headed to hell. I just need someone to come take care of my life for me.