*note: these are random thoughts and are aimed only to help gen-x internet users and readers deal intelligently with being alone.
Hey we are all so depressed! 350 million depressed people worldwide(WHO stats).
I have heard myself and maybe you too, grumble,
“Why can’t people just leave people alone?” ….yet we want to stop being ALONE.
Such confusion!, writing sets me straight when I find myself towing this confused Line.
Do you know you could successfully interact with, educate or inform people in the safety of your privacy and make your words count?
You have heard or written the word “forever”, similar to the phrase “till death do us part”. We are reminded of marry-age, the art of combining separate lives (persons who are/were independently aging) into one singular existence where one does not exist/age without the other, till death.
Well here is to marrying the whole world.
The other night I was seeing “Taken in Broad Day” a movie directed by Gary Yates – I really don’t know details bout movies, sports, cars and such likes, anyway the villain makes one of the most vivid expressions of the most innate human experience I want to talk about today…..
“I got tired of being alone”, his words hit back in response to his captive’s “why?”.
So he snatches the young highschool graduate away from home, a college admission and promises her luxuries of a future as his “wife” in the mountains!!”.
What would you do to get your dream companion?
No one likes to be alone….yet people cannot be forced to socialise and connect.
I am sure I am not the only one who has seen some friend online and did not say “hi” for days, months or years. Yet we all update status or PMs…
We all are gradually joining a world of writers….cause everyone wants to be heard, a way to release the tension that’s hurting us all.
Writing is a path to wholesome “aloneness” not for loners/depressed people…we exemplify as writers, the greatest capacity to bring beauty out of ashes, a full heart in a empty room. In this quick guide, I would walk you through some steps on self-actualization and acceptance which would make a bit of a writer and a purposeful person out of you. You would make a choice between dealing with your fears and accepting them. Ignoring the social disconnect or taking a deliberate step against the growing gap.
How does this relate to the pen?
Nobel Laurette Ernest Hemmingway 1954 (Nobel Prize for literature) in his speech, describes how life as a writer is a lonely one and writing affords us a chance at perceiving life in a new way every time we write (this is acceptance). Each status update is a deliberate effort to reach out or be reached, each tweet is fueled by a desire to be heard.
Don’t just be alone and depressed, put value to the existing trend of solitude and aloneness. Maybe we would someday find the way back to the doorsteps and kitchen tables.
While searching for answers to the question of loneliness I discovered Henry Morgenstein whose writing experience was altered irreparable by the simple act of marriage – this I tag “Facing your fears”- just find someone and get the marriage thing over with and you will NEVER be alone; Morgenstein was to accept albeit regret indirectly this coward’s approach, his words:
“Any human being who is very
good at what he or she does is a lousy
companion for others.” yet he got married.
The level of excellence this 21st century has and expects, is one of the greatest wedges between us. To perceive marriage as easy way out is just self-deceit…..
I am not a celibacy advocate but “don’t marry him for the wrong reason”.
This I have personally attested to. I have lived more than two decades and my phone/mobile barely rings yet I write, my door slams shut only when I return or embark on boring trips to work yet I write. I find myself having better perspective of life and people the more I write about them.
2 simple steps to our rehabilitation: ask
1. Am I truly alone?
2. Desires vs Authority
1. Am I truly alone? : A friend was in dire need of an answer to this “aloneness” and as a writer I advised a good read…won’t tell you the book or author except you ask directly here.
I decided to check out the book too alongside and the main character was such a sociable one. Yet, at his most trying moment all he could show the reader was a proverbial mind trick!
“Father, Why have you forsaken me?”
He asked, knowing fully well that his father could NEVER leave him alone.
We are never truly alone, because any other human could immediately be the companion we need, we just have to ask (up next: Ask for a Wife).
He recognized his capacity to be secure while alone, knowing that he could never really be alone. Trick the mind into and out of perpetual loneliness. Remind yourself that being alone is a choice and not compulsory. The human mind has been found to thrive better when liberated.
We all claim to be alone but never step out of our room inside our house inside our compound locked off with iron gates.
2. Desires vs Authority: here is where words written or spoken come in handy. Authorities are referenced in research to back the authenticity of a position held. References to written or spoken words build the authority of the writer or speaker (I have done a bit of that here too). So if you really want to stop being alone, write it down…make it a vision, dream and discover the life you want to live and create the authority for your thoughts and words tomorrow.
If you write a person’s address down, you would probably check them up than when you just memorize the address. A desire is just in the mind, a contract or deal signed on paper is Authority.
Someone once advised that if you like someone “tell them already”…post it on your status or even your blog. Maybe they will call you.
Discover those who have experiences similar to yours and who have written or spoken about it then give and take, to and from such a person or group. This is the flow of authority!
In conclusion, I left out a 3rd point in my last post, “The Perfect Love note” on how you can join in the writing world, so here:
3. Find an outlet: it could be a lover, a blog, a junior school class, club or church. A writer is at most just a wreck without audience so get one or one more!
Thank you for reading through, till my next post.