Forget Love, You are just not enough for her.

by | Jul 28, 2017 | Africa, Love & Sex | 1 comment

I read a lot of articles these days, especially from thought catalog. Forget this love thing, most relationships function on brain work rather than abstract ideals that these relationship bloggers talk about. Those guys do well but mehhnn, they have their head up there in the clouds. The entries are always so swimmy and merry berry that I just feel they have refused to accept the realities of life. Maybe I am the one that’s just harsh about this thing called love. I just read through an article claiming that if “he loves you enough, he will find a reason to stay.” That’s just convenient, it makes you happy every time people say things like this, they make you feel that it’s the other person who has a problem. Sometimes it’s you that is just not enough and the best advice you can get is to work on yourself.

How can you be eyeing a Ferrari while you work in a paper factory as a cleaner? Yes, miracles happen but it is not the manufacturer’s fault that your savings are only just sufficient for buying or maintaining an old station wagon.

I am going to talk from a guy’s perspective so that it will not seem like I am being unoriginal. I have loved girls that are way beyond my league in fashion, in their social circle, in attitude to life and I would always have that nagging insecurity at the back of my mind that this girl can never really love me. There are some rare cases where it just happens that the girl over-packaged and that’s why I did not quickly realize that she would be fine with the person I have become. However, in most cases, we all know those people that we have loved and it was a mismatch.

As a guy, it’s really wise that you avoid anything that would make it seem like you are begging to be loved. If you find out that the person does not find you suitable for their path in life, move on or grow. Don’t let all those funny relationship nannies lie to you that it was the girl that had a problem, sometimes you are just not enough.

Take the hit gracefully, stop moping around reading love stories that only happen in movies. Sometimes, it is your body odour, or your manner of speech, or your life goals, something about you just does not fit the girl’s checklist. Once this happens, just forget about love and get to work on yourself. Not every time you will be complaining about the other person’s choice not to be with you. They chose you in the first place and nothing you think or say can deny them the ability to retract that choice. All you can do is to be able to fit into their checklist or what they need.

 

Thanks for reading. You can check my bookstore for stories, self-development guides and become a better person today

1 Comment

  1. itumelenglepota

    People don’t particularly do well with the idea of ”not being enough for someone else” It is our inability to see a distinction between ”I am not enough for him/her” and ”I’m not enough as a person” that makes this difficult. We tend to derive our sense of self, our value, and fulfilment from the relationships we build. In every relationship we transform, learn , grow and sometimes even change intrinsic parts of who we had become.

    Imagine a scenario where one had gone through a major transformation of self only to find out that even that isn’t enough for this so-called ”soul-mate” It can be disheartening. People shouldn’t of course change for someone per se, but we cannot dispute that some change is necessary for harmony and success in any relationship. Maybe wisdom is in recognizing what amount of change is necessary and what kind is detrimental and disrespectful to oneself.

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