“I want to tell you something personal, I am sick of myself and who I have become, you are a man of God and I know you can help me”. This is the typical way we start a conversation especially when its of a sexual nature, sex is the most controversial morality issue and it comes with a whole bag of guilt.
Man of God coughs and clears his throat, prepares himself to Lie or rather say something that would not change the sinner or set him free.
The fear of never doing things right is heightened by our increased awareness of moral standards set by other humans around us by the virtue of their positions as mentors, clergy, leaders and so on. We put our hopes of living guilt-free in the hands of these same humans and a circle of unhealthy dependence perpetuates.
How many people have the power to forgive sins? Jesus being our perfect example was with some men and he said to the man who was sick “go and sin no more”, I can’t recall if the man told Jesus about all the dark secrets and evil things he did as a child but Jesus seeing his situation first did the work of disenchanting the man’s mind of sin-conscious living, guilt, shame, fear. The man had not said a single word before Jesus encouraged him to receive forgiveness.
Many think by going to ask for absolution from mortals like themselves then they would find rest, how can a man who has not forgiven himself bring you to forgiveness? How can a man who hides behind the shadows of religious observance, fastings, prayers, declare you a free man. The only thing man offers is temporary absolution and a life of guilt that keeps you returning to the ” confession “.
Be Kind to Yourself
Mercy and justice is the gift of God to man, if nothing else we should give ourselves this gift on a daily basis. Don’t crucify yourself, forgive yourself and you will find it easy to forgive others.
Do what is right
Morality is elusive since we have so many yardsticks, religion cautions, culture threatens while society condemns. Be determined to do what would not leave you sleepless, be happy about your choices.
Be Honest and Consistent
It is hard to be honest when we still carry guilt and shame, we think by covering up our progress it makes us better than the next man. When people see us placed on a high pedestal that we have built for ourselves, it becomes a tedious task to simply live. Honesty is always the best, don’t claim to be who you are not.
” Father forgive me, for I am a sinner”.
The statement as quoted is an indication that we are full aware of our own status, we have come to terms with it and are not hiding it away. “He who covers his sin, does not prosper” because he is asking God for something he is not ready to offer himself.
What do you think about confessions? How do you handle guilt? These questions trouble a lot of people and make us less productive and confident.
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