It’s Saturday and my memory tingles. I have not dated much but in the little experience I have had, conversation skills rank high. A relationship with boring conversations can ultimately kill creativity.
Sometimes we get so carried away with all the mushy feelings that we ignore important issues. Issues like how well she holds her own in a conversation. George and I talked recently about his work, my friend works in an audit company but they are engaged in so much social and networking events. One must conclude that success is not just about how much numbers you can punch but also how “likable” you are. Smooth talk paves the way and opens a lot of doors, develop a sense of humor and an active imagination.
Girl Number 1
We were really young when she asked to be my friend, I think what she meant was “let’s date”. When she saw the look on my face, she was so embarrassed that she had to change her request. I was young, I felt having a girlfriend was a sin and missed out on building my social skills and friendship. Later we became really close but we could not hold a clean conversation, it was always about her profession of undying love. I got tired of her telling me about how she adored me, it was really hard.
We would talk over midnight calls and she practically had nothing to talk about, no aspirations, no desires. I once asked her who she wanted to be and she could not articulate this. As much as I enjoyed the attention, I am not the kind of person who thrives on another human’s worship. I want to be jarred out of my comfort, I want to be shocked and thrilled by a lady’s drive. This would only make me more determined to achieve my goals.
Conversations are a kind of healthy competition. Any date that does not make you feel uncomfortable with mediocre ideas would probably kill your dreams. We broke up not long after, she was a good person but I just could not stand the empty convo.
Life goals are a major part of your relationship, they determine how much your thoughts align. When you spend too much time discussing emotions and sex, your passion or drive has not influenced your conversation. If you are dating a girl and you never feel like telling her about your big dream, then there is a fault somewhere.
Girl Number 2:
She was awesome with conversations, I feel this was my best relationship. We never really ran out of things to talk about, even though sometimes it had to do with her grouse with other girls. One of the major issues that shoved a wedge between us was the negativity she harbored for her friends. So as much as conversations are a great spice, the content of the convo also counts. Thanks to Olumide Glowville, you can find some suggestion of good discussion topics right now. CLICK to get this list of topics.
We played word puzzle games on my kindle fire tablet, we went out to swim, we visited the market together. The activities we did together made it easy for us to have things to talk about, we shared experiences and there is nothing that beats this in my opinion.
Distance is a major problem in nurturing a good relationship and the reason is that most of us run out of conversations very quickly. It sometimes takes a lot of effort to have conversations when you are not sharing similar experiences. Create opportunities for shared experiences; go to concerts together, visit places together, meet people together and do a lot more of outdoor activities.
Girl Number 3:
Faith plays a big role in communication, or let’s say persuasions. This lady was just not the kind of person I wanted to tell about my struggles with “God”. I knew it was a major part of the future for her. A lot of us struggle with issues but we are very judgemental and so people we love find it hard to talk about the things that mean a lot to them. The major difficulty in this relationship was that I felt our perception of faith was different and we could not have easy conversations without one party feeling intimidated or judged by the other.
I would really want to keep writing about these experiences but I will wait. You can help me by sending in your opinion by comment or an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. Do you think you are creative? How have your relationships affected your relationships? What other ways have conversations with your partner affected creativity?
This is just awesome. Practical and insightful. I ask for permission to repost this on my blog.
Great Job Jonathan.
Thanks Olumide, you helped inspire the post and yes you can repost on your blog.
Yes, the content of conversations matter a lot. The lady that was almost always professing her love may have thought she was conversing. Having similar areas of interesting interest can spur great talks. Well done!
Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts Eunice, really content matters.