In the news tonight, our reporters earlier today organized a tea chat with the General Mommadi Brurahiri.
Looking distraught and totally dishevelled, the President of Nigeria revealed to us that he had lost the subsidy money while visiting gulliver on his roadtrip round the globe.
It is with great remorse that we announce on his behalf that all member s of the National house of assembly have convened an impromptu meeting to engage in a detailed search of the sambisa forest and its environs.
The last few sightings of the document were reported by 2 hunters who lost their cattle and fled the Sambisa forest when they witness the cannibalisation of their cattle by members of the extremist sect kobo raman!!
There is a million naira bounty on the subsidy money, anyone who recovers it gets 1 year of free fuel and a presidential handshake.